Paper, Plastic, or Latex?

Yeahhhhhh.

So I go to the corner store cuz I'm outta jimmie hats and I could use a 40 while I'm at it, but wouldn't you know the store was closed up? Seems Ray-Dawg and his boys ran up in there last night and robbed the joint, AGAIN, but this time they popped a cap in ol' man Wing Chun or whatever the fuck his name was.

So, that leaves Eazy no choice but to go to the grocery store.

I roll up in the store around quarter to 12 and my ass don't get out till 1:15.

Why?

Cuz you know how Eazy does it...

I get the condoms (the big Magnum shits cuz you know how I roll), and head toward the aisle with the beer and 40s and shit, and I see this fine ass ho bending over to get somethin' outta the freezer. I roll up on her, and I say, "Baby, lemme help you with that..." She turns and smiles as I pick up her 6 pack of whatever the fuck it was, and she's all, "Thanks playa..." I look her up and down, she gots body for days son. I mean, her ass was the kind you could serve a meal on, and them titties were like two African gazelles bumpin' heads like on Animal Planet or somethin'...

So I said to her, "Now that I helped you with that, you should help me with this," holding up the box of condoms, and I gesture to the store room behind us. She's with it, and the next thing you know she's givin' me head behind the crates of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (or is it Cheese and Macaroni? Never remember that shit...) Anyway, Eazy decides enough with the head, and I bend her over the forklift seat and tear that ass up. When we're done, she got this look on her face like, "Where the fuck did that come from?" I just smile and say, "That's how Eazy does it."

I take the condoms and the 40 up to the register to pay for it, and the check out bitch is wondering why the box is open. I smirk at her, then say, "Why don't you come by my crib 'round 2 and I'll show you somethin' else..." She looks around real quick, then nods and gives me that girlish giggle that tells me she wants it too. I give her the address and roll out, hop online to type this shit and...hold up, that's her knockin' now. Early...I love an anxious bitch...

Eazy's 'bout to do it again.

You Know How Eazy Does It

So check this shit out. I go into the 7-11 off of Crenshaw, and i'm not really paying attention because, y'know, Eazy needs some of that Tropicana shit...vitamin C to go with my gin, ya know. So anyway, I roll up to the freezer and these fools up at the counter start shoutin' shit...talkin' 'bout some, "Git da fuck down, muhfuckah, dis is a muhfuggin' robbery."

You know how Eazy does it.

I pull out my Tech '9 and point it right at theese fools. "Yo, who the fuck you think you talkin' to?" One of them leans over to the other and whispers something. I'm thinkin' it probably was about how he wanted his li'l bitch ass boyfriend to take it up the ass or some shit, but then he goes, "Whaddup, EAZY...my bad, dawg. Didn't see that was you an' shit. You want in on this?"

You know how Eazy does it.

"Of course I want in on that shit. Yo Abdullah, you know the muhfuckin' drill, give up the cash, then get on the floor wit yo' hands on yo' ass."

Did I need the money? Hell naw. Eazy got a shitload of money...stocks, bonds, mutual fund investments...Eazy even got a startup internet company, and gots some of his hoes workin' as virtual assistants over the internet. But see, Eazy gotta let these fools remember who he is and where he's from...the streets.

Say it with me now...

You know how Eazy does it.

Ruthless Jheri

Good evening, and welcome to Eazy's playhouse, you stupid muthafuckaaaaaa!

Did you all gangsta's do your taxes? I was gonna pull a Wesley Snipes but damn, I don't need to be wasting my time with lawyers and paperwork and shit. Oh yeah, one of my girls was trippin on my hair. I told the bitch "Ho, get yo trifflin ass out my muthafuckin crib." See, I still rock my little jheri curl cus I keep it real. I let my soul glo, I let it shine thru, I let my soul glo baby, feeling oh so silky smooth. I like my women how I like my j curl...WET. This OG aint following no dumb ass trends. I aint gonna be a bitch like Gay-Z and dress like this is some kinda fashion show. Fuck that, this is gangsta.

Nigga i came from poverty
Shoot-outs, gang-banging, and robberies
Keep the gat in my lap
Cuz im fully strapped
For the carjackas ,but no haps
Cuz i pack the tech 9' plus an ak47
Send a one way ticket to my hell or maybe heaven

Plane crashes in the CPT!

What the fuck is going on? I was chillin with 40 and a joint gettin my dick sucked by the Chuck E. Cheese girl and BAM a fuckin airplane crashes across the street from me! Now we got cops, sirens and shit. Tottaly fuckin up my high. I took this picture with my iPhone.

Lay Low Creepin

It's Eazy muthafuckin Me. What's poppin kids? I've been laying low the past few days. I had to go old school and take care of some business. I caught some fools slippin at a burger stand. All I could think of was a murder plan. Don`t give a fuck about shit that`s why I mellow. Or maybe it`s the fact that I`m kin to the devil.

Anyways, we just got a Chuck E. Cheese in tha CPT. I went down there and got some free pizza Cuz I'm fucking the assistant manager. Bitch is fine too. She looks like a young La Toya Jackson but with a fat ass. While I was fucking her in the freezer room, my crew thought they'd have some fun by fuckin with the Chuck E. Cheese band. They rigged the machine to play...Well I won't ruin the surprise. Check out the youtube video. Damn, I'm getting used to this WWW.Com shit aren't I?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8tn6ONqEVE

Fools Sleeping on Me

What's up? This is going out to those dumb ass muthafuckas who be sleeping on me, thinkin I'm too old or some shit. Dumb fucks, keep steppin. No matter what my age, I still got a 12 gauge. Yo, I'm still the king of Compton bitch. So quit trying to test me. I told y'all on Appetite 4 Destruction what I'm about. In case you forgot...

1. I'm a be a nigga with an attitude. Gotta get respected, break your mothafuckin' neck.
2. Allwayz gotta fuck out of wedlock. I like it when the pussy goes snap, crackle, and pop.
3. I'm a gangsta, an addict. Smoke any foolz tryin' to cause some static.
4. Here's what's in store. I'ma crazy-ass nigga that remains hard core.
5. My killing just begun, I pull out my gun that will keep me on the run.
6. Hmmm, kinda tricky -Can't forget that I'm mothafuckin' chickenshit, to the ones who tries to play the E, By the time you reach Seven you'll be 6 feet deep
8. Make no mistake, Move real slick and you're bound to catch your pray.
9. I gotta be raw, fuck any brain once your man made law. Last but not least, I must be real -
10. Is my appetite to kill

Disney Just got Gangsta

So one of my kids was all like "Daddy, lets go to Disneyland." And my baby mama was all like "ohhh, I've never been there, let's go!" So I said "BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP! Yo ass don't need to huggin Mickey and shit." But I started thinkin and you know what? That Caribbean Pirate Jack, he was drinkin and fightin all the time. He was Ruthless. Not quite gangsta though cause he kinda dresses like Dre back when he was in the World Class Wreckin' Cru. "

Puffy shirts an' shit ain't gangsta. Anyway fuck it. Baby momma and the kids and me roll up in Disneyland, and son, lemme tell you, if a gangsta wasn't high, he sure as fuck should be. People smilin' everywhere...whacked out music...I swear if I'd taken a shit on the sidewalk they'd called it magical...a muthafuckin' rainbow probably would've popped out of it. "Ain't this some shit?"

So one of the kids was like, "Daddy, I wanna go on the Small World ride!" So we get on the shit, right. YO, you wanna talk about some fucked up shit? Gangstas and bitches, there comes a point in every thug's life when he just can't take no mo' shit...a breakin' point, ya feel me? I found mine...The fuckin' small world song.

About 2 minutes and 37 seconds into the shit, somethin' happened. The music got to me, man, like a bullet rippin' through my muthafuckin' eardrums. I couldn't take it no more...I pulled out my heat, started bustin' caps, regulatin' on those robotic children of the world...little Dutch robot children's clogs flyin off as a bullet rips through its chest, poppin' off legs...the little Japanese robot's li'l triangle hat pops off as its head explodes....all while that fuckin' song is playing...Finally, I busted a cap in the speaker to end this bullshit.

My baby's momma starts trippin'. "That's why we can't go nowhere, you always bustin' caps in shit!"

Like a gangsta I said "That's right bitch. Eazy's either bustin' caps or bustin' a nut...which one you want tonight?"

Poetry aint shit to Eazy

In Some Pussy
by Eazy-E

In
some Pussy
is the place to be

always fucking
is the life
for ME

spread them legs?
open far and wide,

FUCK THIS SHIT
let me get my dick inside

Dis Presidential Shit

Yo, so I been following this presidential shit, right, and let me tell ya'll, Obama? He's a pimp. I know a pimp when I see one, and dis fool's a straight up pimp. He keepin' it gangsta though, fa sho. I seen that shit on youtube, with that Obama Girl...Yo, any fool that can get a hoe to sing about his ass is a PIMP.

Now Hillary...well, that bitch need a dick somethin' fierce. I guess Bill ain't hit that since before that Monica bitch was suckin' his "cigar". Hill-dawg gots more balls then most of 'em fools in Compton though. I bet if she got stuck one good time she'd mellow the fuck out. I'm not the one to give it to her, she don't look like she could take a dick all that good. Somebody needs to though, maybe Bizzy Bone?

Shit, Eazy should run for President. Paint da White House black. Headz of State be my crew...be strapped goin' to peace summits and shit..."Diplomacy? Diploma-see deez nutz on yo' chin, bitches."

Day full of Poom

Shit. Today was crazy. I had to choose between these two chickenheads. One Sharone and the other one Shine. I want to nut but which one do I want?

Shine said "Eazy let me fuck you blind." And Sharon said "E I want to blow your mind." I said fuck it, I know what should be done. Just pull your panties down and I'll fuck the biggest one. And then I get the other pussy put it in the freezer. So I can always have a on-hold skeezer. Get out to tick it, I do it like that. So I told the ho's to take a big step back. Took the zipper down, I'z wide and said "Here's what I'm gonna put inside." Grab it like a rabbit, grab it let's wreck it. But I won't love you, When I'm done I'd still be talkin' shit ...

It's about fuckin' this bitch and that bitch. But not the bitch with the 7 day itch, like that ho. Just throwin' me the pussy. She says she wants to do it like a doggy. She's bad, nobody is badder. But she got more crabs than a seafood platter! Bitch on the gang move, to skizz me. Just to say "I got fucked by Eazy" So I slapped the ho' like a pimp. I might be a women-beater but I'm not a pussy-eater...

Anyway, I lets Sharone gimme some head, and told Shine to come by 'bout 7. She rolls up to da crib lookin' bad as hell, yo her body was an 11. I hit it, I split it, She wanted to get wit' it...but I was like bitch, you must be ridin' da short bus...Ain't no bitch gettin' me ta fuss, So I slapped da hoe, Dis bitch still wanted mo'. but i kicked her outta bed and onto da flo'.

Hell yeah, Eazy feelin alright. Then I ate some Honey Smacks, and called it a night.